Leaps of Faith

I went bungee jumping for the first time in my life.

I had been skydiving once before, as I’ve mentioned previously, but that was something I had always wanted to do. I cannot say the same about bungee jumping.

There are a few reasons bungee jumping seemed a much less enticing idea to me. When skydiving, you’re so far up that the mind cannot comprehend the height in the same way that looking off a bridge does. When skydiving for the first time, you’re attached to someone else, and you kind of just fall off the plane, whereas with bungee jumping, you must actively take that leap. Finally, when skydiving, you have much more time to enjoy the free fall and feel the security of the parachute, whereas with bungee jumping, one feels the bungee pull you back just a couple seconds before your theoretical collision with the earth.

When I went to New Zealand, bungee jumping was not really high on my list of things to do. But bungee jumping was first created in the Pacific Islands (Vanuatu) and was first commercialized in New Zealand, so if ever I was to try it out, I felt like New Zealand would be one of the most appropriate places to do so.

I did not decide to bungee jump until two days before I did it. I didn’t want to give myself much time to think about it. I find that anticipation can often be the scariest part of any new activity. For that same reason, I did not look down through the glass portion of the platform to watch the six people before me plummet the 133 meters into the canyon of the Nevis Playground. Instead, I focused on the mountains, trying to take in the beautiful scenery.

I was already harnessed up, and the only advice I was given was to jump headfirst, and when I feel myself yanked up a second time by the bungee cord, to pull a different cord attached to myself in order to sit up and stop hanging upside down.

I felt a little bit of nervousness as my legs were getting strapped up. It was only when I was told to walk to the edge of the platform that I began to feel a sense of panic.

I acknowledged this feeling. I knew it was natural to feel this way and I was not at all surprised to experience this wave now that I was facing the thing that I had once told myself I’d never do.

But I was here now. They pointed to a camera, which I barely registered. But I knew I was being recorded, so I smiled despite my inner terror. I tried to focus on making sure my form was good. If I was going to do this, I wanted to do it right. For that same reason, I had picked the tallest bungee in all of Oceania.

The guide held onto the back of my harness and he counted down from five in the span of three seconds.

It’s funny, in retrospect, that strategy. By counting down from five, it gives the jumper a chance to mentally prepare a little more than counting down from three, but by doing it quickly, it also forces the jumper to be unable to think through anything.

It is incredible what a person can do simply because someone counts down from five.

I leapt.

I don’t remember much of the plummet at all. I was fully cogent, but my mind must’ve blacked out in a way.

There are some bungees that will actually dip your head into the river below. This was not one of them; it pulled me up with at least a two-story building in height between me and the bottom. I felt myself being pulled by the cord. It was not painful. I remember being surprised at how high up I swung before gravity pulled me back down.

When I was placed back onto the platform, I felt my legs shaking beneath me. I high-fived the others who went before me.

One of them said, “This definitely isn’t the last time I’m doing this!”

I thought to myself, This definitely IS the last time I’m doing this! So then why did I do it? What did I gain, besides a badass video and a free t-shirt that I sincerely think should’ve instead been a free pair of underwear to replace the one people crap themselves in while doing this?

I gained knowledge of the activity, sure. I gained another experience, something I can write about, if ever I need to. As they say, write about what you know, so the more I know, the more easily I can faithfully write something.

More than any of that, I gained knowledge of myself. I have written before of the importance of putting yourself in uncomfortable situations, because that’s when you discover the most. This was one of the most uncomfortable things I’ve done. And it was something I had once thought I didn’t have the strength of mind to do.

It reminds me of when I ate a tarantula in Cambodia back in 2018. Thanks to Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter, I acquired a fear of big spiders. I told myself that if there was anything I would never eat, it’d be a tarantula. But then the opportunity presented itself, and I did not back down.

A photo of myself eating tarantula

Did I enjoy eating the tarantula? Absolutely not. I think I would rather bungee jump again rather than eat another one.

But that is only half the point. The point is that I did it, and I proved that I underestimated my own limits.

And I think it is with this knowledge, and the proof that I continue to impress myself with what I can endure, that gives me the confidence to do the things that I truly want to do, and to face tougher situations that I do not have a choice over.

It is inevitable that someday I will have to face something that brings me to my knees and makes me doubt my ability to go on. It could very well happen a number of times. When I get to those difficult moments, I can look back at these experiences and tell myself that I am stronger than I give myself credit for. I can do things I didn’t think I could, and I hope it will give me the strength to take that step forward or that leap of faith out.